12 Winter Solstice Wishes
How we enchanted 2026
I originally sent this Instagram reel from @ashley.waverly to my girlfriends with the message “What does this say about my life that I actually want to do this?”
The “this” in question was the “12 Wishes” ritual for the winter solstice. Write 12 wishes on paper, fold them so you can’t see, and burn one each night starting December 21.
After December 31, you have 1 wish remaining. That wish is your responsibility for the year.
The other 11 wishes - and this is where the deal gets really sweet - are up to the universe and whatever higher (or lower) powers you might have working for you.
So yeah, we did it. Here were my 12 wishes…
You can see them right there in that mason jar.
Regardless of what happens this year or whether these wishes come true, going through this ritual worked some kind of magic.
Play with fire and let the universe decide.
I won’t lie to you: lighting things on fire was a big draw to this ritual.
We watched those little strips of paper turn to ash, no idea which wishes were being burnt away. The anticipation builds. Which wish will be left in the end?
When it feels like there are so many important things to do and it’s impossible to decide, randomizing the choice can be liberating. When I’m feeling stuck, I’ve been known to make a numbered list of tasks. Then I obey the whims of a D20 die by starting whichever number comes up first.
It might seem haphazard to tempt fate like this, but it’s more like inviting her to guide the journey. Let her help you choose.
It’s sweeter to make wishes with friends.
I thought I was being silly to even consider this ritual, but my friends rallied me up. Get yourself some friends like that: friends who take your silliness seriously.
Three of us women did this together, plus two kids who wanted to play along.
Reading others’ wishes really clarified my thinking about my own. It also left me in awe of theirs (see next point).
I like to think that this sort of witchy camaraderie also boosts the enchantment because it’s part of a circle of support, rather than alone. (Wait, is this also why we gather our loved ones to stand around a birthday cake and blow out a candle to make a wish? Did I just discover witchcraft??)
And back to the fire part, it was fun to play with fire with friends.
Design your wishes however you feel.
Since I did this exercise with a few others, I was privy to their lists of wishes.
They were heartfelt. They reflected real struggle and hope. They were poetic. They were full of rich language. In the case of the kids, they were sweet and innocent.
By comparison, I reread mine and worried they were too mechanical, too analytical for the spirit of the ritual. Was I succumbing to productivity culture and an obsession with measuring every outcome? I’d rather think of myself as romantic and imaginative and artistic, but that was not coming through in my wishes.
Still, I only adjusted mine a little. If I was going to end up responsible for one of those wishes, I wanted to know that I could really make it come true.
Bend the rules. Forgive yourself.
We burnt our wishes over a frying pan with the hood fan running at an obnoxious volume to suck away the tangy smoke of printer paper and ink. Everyone was sick on and off through the 12 days, so sometimes we burned multiples to catch up. We burned wishes at all time of day, usually with Paw Patrol playing in the background.
There was no fanfare, no music, no special lighting, no incense, no ambiance, no standing on ceremony. Just a butane lighter.
There was also no shame for missing a day. There was only laughter when a piece of paper refused to fully burn away. We got it done, we did it together, and that was what mattered.
Embrace the whimsy
This whole process was super whimsical, so it should come as no surprise that the universe presented me with my most lighthearted wish.
I mean, come on. If you know me, you know I love hosting parties. Technically speaking, what is a party anyway except a few people invited to gather together intentionally? How can I miss that?
So maybe I’m just supposed to relax and enjoy the year. Except…
Focus on one wish to feel the ripple effect
There’s a lot more unspoken in this wish.
At my most ambitious, this wish actually contains:
A “garden party” with:
The conclusion of a months-long home renovation
A new deck where friends can mingle
Burgeoning new landscaping that brings new life to what is now a mud pit
The “winter party” that is actually a book release party, meaning:
The completion of my draft
A round of beta readers & more revisions
A paid editor
Independently publishing the book
Marketing that book so people can find it
So yeah, there’s a lot of secret goals packed into this seemingly simple wish.
Good things are like that: when one thing starts to go well, other things can’t help but follow suit.
(If you don’t recognize this gif, please go watch Spirited as a belated Christmas treat to yourself.)
Anna asked me if I’ll still track the other wishes. I said, yes, at least for a little while. I do love to start a new tracking system. But I’m not putting as much of my mental energy there.
I’ll be busy getting this book ready for my winter party…
